Invented

she grew up believing eyes were windows to the soul.
but now she wonders if their nothing more than pretty paintings covering windows.
************************

i've been thinking a lot about all the things i wish i could articulate to different people.

but dont. or cant.

for various reasons...

which has made me think a lot about eyes...

i believed growing up that the eyes never lie. want to know what someone's thinking. look there. forget their words. look. there.

but the older i get, the more i wonder if i was wrong. if the eyes can lie. i feel like i've been suckered into believing so many things based on the eyes of others... believing their eyes speak truth.

then i thought. perhaps i'm the one of the rare people who cant hide the truth in their eyes ... and maybe THATS why im such an easy push-over. easy prey. easy to manipulate. to tell when im kidding. to tell when im serious. to tell when i'm angry. dont listen to my words. look at my eyes...

and sometimes i wish people would just understand what i'm trying to say not through words. and sometimes im glad they dont. sometimes its difficult to convey what exactly i mean because they're too far away. and sometimes its difficult because they're too close. geographically or relationally... take your pick...

there's a cinematic end
i picture it just right
having trouble with the right words
but you tell me with your eyes.

there's something good i missed.
something i cant find.
do you believe me now?
can you see it in my eyes...

invented - jimmy eat world
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wddewaGkVPc (yes, i know the links arent working. blogspot has been acting dumb recently...)

invented.
the invented outer exterior of being even keel.
the way the music seems bland and steady.
the climactic end to such a fabulous song.
the instrumental build mimicking pent-up emotion.
and then. the breaking of the dam.
and the returning to normalcy


i wonder how one person can have a heart full of so many emotions for so many different people. to have so many thoughts. feelings. running. coursing. through their veins. to feel pain. guilt. love. happiness. all in one instant. but never feel like they can find the right words to say.

so they tell people everything with their eyes.

but that doesnt release the emotions very quickly. more like the dripping of water from a clogged faucet.

somedays. i wonder. if perhaps. the dam will break.

and i may just explode.